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- Know you can survive. You may not think so, but you can.
- Struggle with “Why” it happened until you no longer need to know “Why” or until you are satisfied with partial answers.
- Know you may feel overwhelmed by the intensity of your feelings but all your feelings are normal.
- Anger, guilt, confusion, forgetfulness are common responses. You are not crazy – you are in mourning.
- Be aware you may feel appropriate anger at the person, at the world, at God, at yourself.
- You may feel guilty for what you think you did or did not do.
- Having suicidal thoughts is common. It does not mean that you will act on those thoughts.
- Remember to take one moment or one day at a time.
- Find a good listener with whom to share. Call someone.
- Don’t be afraid to cry. Tears are healing.
- Give yourself time to heal.
- Remember, the choice was not yours. No one is the sole influence in another person’s life.
- Expect setbacks. Don’t panic if emotions return like a tidal wave. You may only be experiencing a remnant of grief.
- Try to put off major decisions.
- Give yourself permission to get professional help.
- Be aware of the pain of your family and friends.
- Be patient with yourself and with others.
- Set your own limits and learn to say no.
- Steer clear of people who want to tell you what or how to feel.
- Now there are support groups that can be helpful, such as Bereaved Families or Survivors of Suicide Groups. If not ask a professional to help start one.
- Call on your personal faith to help you through.
- It is common to experience physical reactions to your grief, ie.: headaches, loss of appetite, inability to sleep, etc.
- The willingness to laugh with others and at yourself, is healing.
- Wear out your questions, anger, guilt, or other feelings until you can let them go.
- Know that you will never be the same again, but you can survive and go beyond surviving
